Dating? No way.
I just told someone on TikTok that I’m too heartbroken to even think about dating or being intimate with anyone — and that’s the truth. It actually got me thinking how common this must be for people who come out of these intense, dramatic relationships. And that’s exactly what I just went through.
It’s been 8 months since I separated from my husband. He messaged me recently asking if I was “handling the divorce.” I told him he’s good to go ahead and file — no assets, no children, nothing contested. Honestly, I’m hoping he takes care of it since he’s still in California, and I’m not coming back any time soon. He could literally do it online.
The difference now? His message didn’t trigger me the way it used to. And that, for me, is progress. 🙏
Celibacy? This is something very real and very common after leaving a traumatic or intense relationship.
When someone goes through emotional trauma, especially in a relationship where trust, safety, or self-worth was damaged, the body and mind often go into a kind of protective pause. Even though you might not cry when you talk about it anymore, your system is still processing, still healing. That pause can show up as:
- No desire for physical intimacy — your body knows it’s not ready yet, and that’s actually a healthy boundary.
- Emotional detachment from relationships — you may feel like you don’t want to get close to anyone for a while, which gives you time to reconnect with yourself first.
- Focus on self-healing — rather than rushing into something new, your energy is directed inward, toward rebuilding trust, self-love, and balance.
The choice to step back from intimacy is often called celibacy (a conscious decision not to engage sexually for a period of time, or indefinitely). Some also call it abstinence, though that word is usually used when someone is avoiding sex for external reasons (religion, health, etc.). Celibacy, in a healing sense, is about reclaiming sovereignty over your body and energy—it can be incredibly
